Shadow Lovers

I am an excitable person who only understands life lyrically, musically, in whom feelings are much stronger than reason. I am so thirsty for the marvelous that only the marvelous has power over me. Anything I can not transform into something marvelous, I let go. Reality doesn't impress me. I only believe in intoxication, in ecstasy, and when ordinary life shackles me, I escape, one way or another.   

~Anaïs Nin

Shadow Lovers 1 - 022813 - Miz B

There are two ways to reach me: by way of kisses or by way of the imagination. 

But there is a hierarchy: the kisses alone don't work. 

~ Anaïs Nin

Shadow Lovers 2 - 022813 - Miz B

 Love is the axis and breath of my life. The art I produce is a byproduct, an excrescence of love, the song I sing, the joy which must explode, the overabundance — that is all!  

~Anaïs Nin

Shadow Lovers 3 - 022813 - Miz B

 I have to be rent and pulled apart and live according to the demons and the imagination in me. I'm restless. Things are calling me away. My hair is being pulled by the stars again. 

~ Anaïs Nin

I Objectify Women ... and Men ... and Myself!

Moon Marie and Valya - Jack in the Box Wrapper and Bag - 022613 - SideB

People had a habit of looking at me as if I were some kind of mirror instead of a person. They didn't see me, they saw their own lewd thoughts, then they white-masked themselves by calling me the lewd one.  ~ Marilyn Monroe

Moon Marie - 022613 - SideB

Amen, Marilyn - tell em!!   I grew up surrounded by an ultra conservative/religious Mennonite (think one step this side of Amish) extended family.  I was fortunate to be the granddaughter of the black sheep who fell far from the tree, married a Navy man, and embraced a life outside the herd.  I vividly remember my mother greeting any judgement and concern for our lifestyle with a simple line: "To the pure, all things are pure."   I suspect now that it may have been more tongue-in-cheek than I grasped, but it surely empowered me to realize that everyone sees things through their own mental shadows of guilt, shame, confusion, and pain.  Religion may be the most entrenched mechanism of shaming when it comes to sexuality, but it's certainly not alone.

So what does this have to do with objectifying women?   Seems to me that to some people, women are already objects, regardless of their depiction in art or the media.   How I portray them won't matter.  Conversely, to the pure all things are pure.  If you are well-adjusted and respectful of others, you may view a photo of a woman as a symbol or an ideal, but you will not confuse that with believing her to be merely an object for your pleasure.   The image may be an object for your amusement, the model is not.   Nor will you take that objectification in two dimensions as permission to treat three dimensional actual people as objects.   

Valya - 022613 - SideB

Objectification isn't unique to women in erotic art.   Yet when was the last time you heard someone bemoaning the objectification of our sports superstars?  "Oh poor, poor Kobe Bryant!  He's a real person, with real feelings and everyone just sees him as long legs and biceps!"  or  "Usain Bolt is more than just powerful thighs you know ... you're such a pig to obsess over physical prowess instead of the content of his character!"  Puh-leeeeeez!   

Anyone in the public eye has been objectified - most of us by our own design.   There's a huge difference between the totality of me as a person and the brand I have scultped as a public figure.   It's slightly unsettling when people think they KNOW me because they're a fan of my photos.   Same goes for people in music, acting, athletics.   But celebrity culture comes part and parcel with allowing the public to consume you.  To be an object of attention, of desire, of adoration requires one to be objectified into bite-sized morsels for public consumption.    

Even as private individuals, we are all objectified every day.  Every person will view you through their own filters, so often there is little resemblence between the person you are and the object you become in their eyes.   The good, the bad, the superficial, the insightful ... perhaps there is still truth to be found in objectification through art.  The danger lies in believing those truths to be specific instead of general, complete instead of partial.   And perhaps the truth we find is about the viewer and the artist, not  the subject.   

I objectify women (IOW)

Valya- butter wrapper -  022413 - SideB

Objectification is the process by which an abstract concept is made as objective as possible in the purest sense of the term. It is also treated as if it is a concrete thing or physical object. - Wikipedia

I objectify women.  I digest objectified women daily through tv, internet, books, magazines, billboards, music, and my meanderings through the day.  I know you see these objects as well.

I objectify women through my thoughts, beliefs, and art as well.  Just by tripping the shutter and capturing the image of a woman on film or a sensor, I transfer a real human (not just women) into a 1/250th of a second capture of her and convert her to an object.  

This transfer is similar to what painters, sculptors, poets, and other creative types have done for centuries.  They take a full human and convert them to some sort of partial object, a mere small representation of a fiction or reality of that person.  

I started an art series last year titled I objectify women (IOW).  The inspiration for the series are a string of comments/criticisms directed at me and also an internal dialogue I've been going through again and again.  I wrote a multi-page journal capturing simple statements on this with each line beginning with IOW and then followed by one of these criticisms or my own internal issues (click on image below and try to decipher my scribbles).  These in turn inspired individual pieces in the series.  Many of my images are sexual in nature, but not all.  Does the content or concept of the object make it more palatable, or even art?

IOW Journal - 022413 - SideB

This series is analog and touchable.  It is physical, so you are seeing photos of the final pieces.  Almost every piece is made as a gel transfer onto a piece of discarded packaging such as butter wrappers, cookie boxes, fast food wrappers, etc.

In a new series of posts, we are going to explore objectification of women, our roles both in creating it and being the object of it.  We both have great experience in this, especially Miz B since she has been on both sides of the camera.

As with all our posts, you are the vital third party of this menage a trois.  Please chime in on anything.  Share your thoughts, words, poems, links to related things so we can expand this conversation beyond the sound of our own voices echoing in the shadows!

So, do you objectify women?

The Lost Art of Seduction

Quest - 022213 - Miz B

Sex is so obvious, so basic, so boring.   Yes, I said it!   Now before you freak out, let me finish.  Let's face it - the body parts can only be combined in so many ways ... and no matter how skilled you may be at the old in & out, it's frankly quite uninspiring!   But wait ... we all know that sex is fabulous and fierce and occasionally a religious experience.  So where does this amazing variation in passion and skills come from?  SEDUCTION!

Just in case you haven't heard, the most incredible erogenous zone on a woman's body is her MIND!   Especially for (and I can't believe I'm skirting close to using the "mature" word) a more experienced woman like me, you'd better bring a pretty solid mental repertoire if you want to rock my world.  People ask me "what do you like?" and I say "with whom?"  They ask what I haven't done before  and I answer "with whom?"    It sounds smart-assed, but it's an honest answer ... it's not the "what" that varies, it's the "how" that each person brings to the table.   With minor variations, the notes are the same, but the symphony sounds very different when played by the Philharmonic than by a kindergarten class of recorders!

I think most women can attest that the difference between good sex and mind-blowing-oh-my-god-what-the-hell-just-happened-I-can't-feel-my-face-and-can-we-do-that-again sex is the mental "X-factor" that comes from seduction.  We can all tell the difference between a disengaged partner who is jacking off using our body and a lover who is in tune with our mental, emotional, and physical needs.   There is no shortcut for seduction ... for it to be effective, one must actually take the time to explore their lovers' shadows and venture into the depths of them together.  Formulaic, chick-flick seduction won't cut it ... for true bliss one must actually discover the unique magic in each moment, each person, each luscious dark twist of the mind.   Sometimes seduction is bubblebaths and champagne ... and sometimes it's knowing that before the night is out, you will be shoved up against a wall in some dark alley and fucked senseless!

Before this whole thing comes off as a sexist, all about romancing women post, let me say that I believe it is every bit as important to seduce men.  It just looks very different.  Still, it's a matter of not only learning where his buttons are, but being willing to push them without judgement.   Very often, I hear women complain about what men want in bed ... they just don't see how THAT is sexy or romantic.   They want to seduce him in the way that THEY want, instead of the way that HE wants.  Survey says: XXX {insert Family Feud buzzer here!}   Sorry ladies, no can do.   He doesn't need what you need, and selfish is the opposite of seductive!  The most successful relationships are those in which BOTH sets of shadows are honored, both fantasies fulfilled, both souls touched, and both bodies left in quivering gasping puddles on the floor!  

It's a Fine, Fine Line ...

D & Miz B - 022013 - Miz B

                   It's a fine, fine line between pleasure and pain ~Divinyls, "Pleasure & Pain"

Tense & tender.  Romantic & raw.  Powerful & Playful.   What is is about the dichotomy of sadistic sex that intrigues us so?  Fear and arousal are fraternal twins in our body chemistry - the pounding pulse, the ragged breaths, the hypersensitivity, the complete focus on the challenge at hand.   As D.L. Wood mentioned in a recent comment, the facial expression of orgasm is eerily similar to one of excruciating pain.   In fact, the French refer to orgasm as "la petite mort" - the little death.

As any Discovery Channel devotee can tell you, mating can be nearly as savage as actual hunting ... check out lions sometime and watch them fight and claw and bite to breed.   At our animalistic core, there is a mandate to perpetuate the species with the strongest genetic mate ... to have a primal throwdown to determine the right to pass on your line.  In most of the natural world, the worthy mate is the one who can dominate - together with the one who is strong enough to meet the domination with primal submission.  We are wired with a thrill response to adrenaline (extreme sports anyone?) ... and the intersection of this rush with biological aggression is bound to be explosive!

Depicting these scenes in photos always makes for an interesting shoot ... even with a crew and a lot of equipment in the room, when that hot wax hits your nipples or the teeth scrape your skin -- it has a way of taking your breath away and getting your attention!   Suffering for my art?   Well, as you can see, it's a tough job, but somebody's got to do it! :-D

For me, the fine line is related to the term, "la petite mort" and this notion of "the little death".  
Death is just a tad bit younger than life and it is one of the oldest organic conditions in our existence. Maybe by connecting sex to creating new life, the opposite of death, the orgasm gives us a taste of both in the blissful moment.

Maybe in those intimate moments when we mix both the ultimate pleasure with pain to build on each other, we are living a true essential part of life.  We are living the blurring dichotomy of both worlds.

Sensual senses - We create the sex music

Valya - 021613 - Side B

We create the sex music
each performance a little
different from the previous

It always starts soft
an exhale then a soft, "mmmm"
I wait for the next

The sound of my hand
slowly running down your skin
almost without sound

You hear my breathing
as I kiss, nip, and lick all of you
I hear a sensual sigh

My lips, my hands, all
move in rhythm to your sighs
a cue to your pleasure

My fingers move down
the sex sound of your wetness
as I push deep in

You moan, louder, full
I feel your moan fill me deep
I want you, your moan

Lips move to your sounds
my tongue moves to your breathing
deep moans, so sexual

My fingers and lips
taste all of you, following
what your sighs direct

I hear the tension
each breath faster, each moan louder
my fingers move deep

Your lips open to give
release to the inner sex voice
the sound of release

Your hips move in rhythm
to each moan, each groan, each sigh
each scream of pleasure

The music grows softer
slower as the decrescendo
declines into silence

We only hear our
breathing, a soft moan, and our hearts
We created the sex music


SB

Roses are red ... oh who are we kidding?! Get your sexy ass into bed!!

Valentine's Day ... what a nightmare!   Seriously, if you're alone, this day sucks.  If you're with someone, this day is a minefield of outrageous expectation and cliche.  It's expensive and contrived and more about going through the motions and looking good than genuine expressions of affection.   Simply put, if the quality of your romantic life depends on flowers and chocolates on Valentine's Day, you might want to expand your horizons a little!  

Valentine - 021413 - Miz B

Don't get me wrong, I'm a sucker for flowers and romance ... but I am positively perturbed at checking boxes to fulfill someone else's ideal.   Commercialism aside, my true love should be pushing much more personal buttons than the universal Hallmark paint-by-numbers holiday kitsch!   As always, this should go both ways ... I pride myself on knowing secret ways to seduce my Valentine - the less conventional, the better! :-)

Whatever may float your boat, Valentine's Day shouldn't be the only day you indulge ... surprise romance and "just because" tokens of adoration are more important than just one holiday.   One thing I love about working in erotic art is the opportunity to explore different visions of romance and passion all year round.   You'd be surprised how many naughty ideas you glean from art like ours and take home to your Valentine! :-)

One final thought for this day of love ... from the new James Bond novel "Carte Blanche" by Jeffrey Deaver :

                 The intimacy of bodies comes prepackaged with an intimacy of mind and spirit, 

                 and you ought not to seek the first if you're unwilling to take delivery of the second.

Touch Me - 021413 - Miz B

Just a quick note from a guy's point of view on this day.  First, thanks to Miz B for keeping it real and sharing that it is the intent and passion of the day, not the gifts and empty platitudes exuded in the cards that matter.  I will say though that sharing chocolates in creative and seductive ways works very well any day of the year.

I hope everyone spends today getting a little extra thrill.  If you share it with someone, huzzah!  If you are alone, then spoil yourself and enjoy the "alone time" as well.  SB

You'd Better Do That Like You Mean It !

There is no polite way to put this ... I simply despise milquetoast, tentative, half-assed anything!!  There are few things sexier than commitment ... not so much to others as to yourself & your course of action.  Fence-sitting is a waste of energy  better spent leaping into life!   I tell my models and photographers - "I don't care if you work in erotica or not, but if you do, do it like you mean it!"  Ditto for lovers ... you don't have to be into romance ... or bondage ... or role-play.  But if you are going to do it, go all in and do it like you mean it!   If you pull my hair lightly and tap my ass, I'm going to laugh in your face ... you'd better make it hurt and leave a handprint, otherwise leave that to someone who will.  

Go Hard or Go Home - 021213 - Miz B

This particular shoot was a personal favorite ... by the time we wrapped, I felt like I'd spent about 2 straight weeks in SEAL training.  Every muscle in my body hurt ... I'd been twisted and inverted and folded in ways I'd never imagined.   There is no way to "pose" a shoot with that kind of energy ... you experience it at light speed and hope the photographer is on his game and catching the action.  I find one key to getting the best out of models is to put us in our zone and let our attitude shine through ... clearly, when the chemistry clicks and the commitment to a project is genuine - the results speak for themselves!  Shots like this don't come from half-assed expression, and moments like these in life are yours only when you do it like you mean it! 

Perky Pinups

B Luscious - 021013 - Miz B

Much as I love the dark mysterious shadows, there is a freedom in exposing intimate moments to the bright light of day.   Some people hide their true desires from the world ... some hide them from themselves.   Part of the joy of evolving as a sexual being and an artist lies in stepping out from the shadows ... in exposing your truth and finding others who share in it.  Seize your chances, however small and tentative, to leave behind anonymity and secrecy ... illuminate your world with vibrant colors and brazen expressions of appetite, personality, & passion! 

Fae DeCay - 021013 - SB

It is funny.  I love high-key photography, but am personally either lousy at it or prefer to play in the shadows.  With that said, I do love creating the occasional pinup as well, but adding in the shadows with it. 

Enlightened in the Shadows

Candace Nirvana - 020813 - SB

The typical view of shadows is that they conceal ... thus phrases such as "lurking in the shadows."   To me, though, shadows are quite enlightening and expose more truth than the bright light of day.   In the shadows, masks drop and the hidden desires are revealed.

In a literal sense, I discovered very early in my Photoshopping career that  reality is whatever the shadows say it is.  How do you know that male model has abs of steel?  The shadows tell you so.   How do you know that beautiful woman has a flat tummy and perfect skin?  The absence of shadows tells you so.   Setting, mood, tone ... all can be understood - or altered- through shadow.

Metaphorically - and more vitally - shadows are not absolute.  They are endless shades on a vast spectrum.   It's impossible to tell exactly where they begin or end, and to define them by a single pixel is meaningless.   Simply put, nothing is black and white, it's all glorious shades of gray.   Stay with me here a moment longer, dear readers ...   wait for it ... 

We ARE the shadows.   The human experience is never absolute, despite our neurotic penchant for categorization and labels.   No real, honest, self-aware person is ever so easily defined.   Liberal/Conservative.   Straight/Gay.   Wise/Naive.   Happy/Sad.   Ambitious/Lazy.   White/Black.   Young/Old.   Dominant/Submissive.  Generous/Selfish.  Wild/Boring.  None of these define us.  All of these define us.  They are extreme points on a spectrum, on which we may lounge near the midpoint, cling stubbornly to the far right or left, or bounce wildly from day to day, experience to experience.  

Just as photographers may experiment with shifting light and shadows to express very different visions, each of us is a daily experiment in shadow ... concealing, exposing, emphasizing, downplaying elements of ourselves.   The challenge is to do so consciously!  The best of artists have purpose ... a method to their madness.   So too the greatest of people consider why they choose what they choose.  Are you trying to gain social acceptance?  Are you perpetuating a familial pattern?  Are you parroting others without independent thought?   Are you rebelling for purpose or for rebellion's sake?   There are no right or wrong answers - shadows are not good or bad - seize your own power and be conscious enough to shape them with your light!

Both Sides - 020813 - Miz B

I've always tried to embrace the complexities of myself and been rather offended by attempts to pigeonhole me.   Meredith Brooks' song "Bitch" has been an anthem of sorts for my life and career ... she says it better than I can!

I hate the world today
You're so good to me
I know but I can't change
Tried to tell you
But you look at me like maybe
I'm an angel underneath
Innocent and sweet
Yesterday I cried
Must have been relieved to see
The softer side
I can understand how you'd be so confused
I don't envy you
I'm a little bit of everything
All rolled into one

I'm a bitch, I'm a lover
I'm a child, I'm a mother
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint
I do not feel ashamed
I'm your hell, I'm your dream
I'm nothing in between
You know you wouldn't want it any other way

So take me as I am
This may mean
You'll have to be a stronger man
Rest assured that
When I start to make you nervous
And I'm going to extremes
Tomorrow I will change
And today won't mean a thing

Just when you think, you got me figured out
The season's already changing
I think it's cool, you do what you do
And don't try to save me

I'm a bitch, I'm a tease
I'm a goddess on my knees
When you hurt, when you suffer
I'm your angel undercover
I've been numb, I'm revived
Can't say I'm not alive
You know I wouldn't want it any other way

Sensual Senses - The skin feels.

Valya - 020613 - Side B

My skin feels it all
the warmth of your breasts on me
your soft skin with mine

I feel your breathing
I feel your contractions grow
I feel your wet release

My skin doesn't lie
but it can confuse what's real
and what is sensed

My skin remembers
My skin still feels it - years later
I then remember.

SB

Thank you and you... and especially YOU!

Valya -  020413 - SB

Shadowsexposed premiered just over three weeks ago and is growing beyond our expectations.  During that time, we are relishing some very rewarding numbers.

12 posts (including this one!)
13 Misbehaving members!
61 Comments!

2,907 Page Views!

We continue with passion our commitment to bringing sex, sexiness, topical heat, sexy snaps, deeper debates, and the continual encouragement of naughty behavior.  As we write and share more, we are learning more about ourselves, our art, and the world we create in.  We also are learning about YOU!  Thank you for sharing your encouragement, comments, and thoughts.  You are an equal part of our little triangle of naughtiness and make it all that much better.

This grand journey is in its earliest stages.  Keep your eyes, brains, and libido coming back and share the sexy trip deeper into the shadows with us.   

Wet n Wild

Wet N Wild - 020213 - Miz B - Image courtesy of KRT Pics

Slipping, sliding, splashing, drinking, birthing, cleansing,  crying ... water takes center stage in the most intense moments and sensations of life.  Perhaps only air is more vital to life ... and perhaps nothing is more drenched in sexual innuendo than moisture.   Sweat, arousal, ejaculate, blood, milk ... life and passion are intertwined in liquid.

However primal and ingrained our ties to water, there's also no denying that wet sex is fun!  Dripping, sliding, lapping, swallowing, shining, slippery passion is wild and free, full of abandon and unpredictability.   Words and whimpers can lie ... but there is truth in wetness.  When was the last time you let go of dry land & routine in favor of the wild waves of wicked wetness?

Good Clean Fun - 020213 - Miz B