Wednesday, February 20, 2013

It's a Fine, Fine Line ...

D & Miz B - 022013 - Miz B

                   It's a fine, fine line between pleasure and pain ~Divinyls, "Pleasure & Pain"

Tense & tender.  Romantic & raw.  Powerful & Playful.   What is is about the dichotomy of sadistic sex that intrigues us so?  Fear and arousal are fraternal twins in our body chemistry - the pounding pulse, the ragged breaths, the hypersensitivity, the complete focus on the challenge at hand.   As D.L. Wood mentioned in a recent comment, the facial expression of orgasm is eerily similar to one of excruciating pain.   In fact, the French refer to orgasm as "la petite mort" - the little death.

As any Discovery Channel devotee can tell you, mating can be nearly as savage as actual hunting ... check out lions sometime and watch them fight and claw and bite to breed.   At our animalistic core, there is a mandate to perpetuate the species with the strongest genetic mate ... to have a primal throwdown to determine the right to pass on your line.  In most of the natural world, the worthy mate is the one who can dominate - together with the one who is strong enough to meet the domination with primal submission.  We are wired with a thrill response to adrenaline (extreme sports anyone?) ... and the intersection of this rush with biological aggression is bound to be explosive!

Depicting these scenes in photos always makes for an interesting shoot ... even with a crew and a lot of equipment in the room, when that hot wax hits your nipples or the teeth scrape your skin -- it has a way of taking your breath away and getting your attention!   Suffering for my art?   Well, as you can see, it's a tough job, but somebody's got to do it! :-D

For me, the fine line is related to the term, "la petite mort" and this notion of "the little death".  
Death is just a tad bit younger than life and it is one of the oldest organic conditions in our existence. Maybe by connecting sex to creating new life, the opposite of death, the orgasm gives us a taste of both in the blissful moment.

Maybe in those intimate moments when we mix both the ultimate pleasure with pain to build on each other, we are living a true essential part of life.  We are living the blurring dichotomy of both worlds.


  1. Gosh - mentioned in a post - he blushes.

    That is a hot image. Sorry I couldn’t resist the obvious. Lol It is a wonderful capture of an act of pain/pleasure intimacy.

    As one who loves to look at images and read about the pain/pleasure side of sex; I have never participated in it. But the act of dripping wax on a woman has intrigued me for a long time. The one problem I have with exploring this side of sex is that I find the thought of hurting a woman difficult to grasp. I find that when I look at a picture of a woman’s ass black and blue after a vigorous paddling; my thought is – how could someone do that to such a beautiful ass? So there is a dichotomy. The reading and visual stimulation brings excitement to one part of the gray matter; while another let’s say rational part says you don’t hurt someone that allows you to be intimate with them.

    The sexual mind is interesting. Where does the point of seeking pain to have pleasure come from? Is it buried in a dark part of our brain from the beginning; something we are born with? Is it something we learn as a reward; we endure the pain to be rewarded with the pleasure of the orgasm? Is pain endured for self satisfaction or for your partner’s satisfaction? Is the sex the reason or merely the means? O endured her pains not because she enjoyed or found pleasure in them; she did not. She endured because when she was with her lover it brought him so much pleasure; that was when she found her pleasure. The Marquis’s debauchery was merely a vehicle to satisfy his craving for the pleasurable feelings it provided. His thrill was the power he had over the weak. He was less interested in actual sex and more interested in the pleasure provided by his power over the weaker partner. You could say the sex was the icing on the cake. He could have been addicted to squashing people in business or rivals and got the same feelings. But lucky for us it was sex.

    Just a curious cat does one start dripping hot wax on their naked body? Was it just for the photo shoot? Or are you sitting around the house one night and go – damn I think I’ll drip some hot wax on my tit and see how it feels? If you do it as a part of your sexual repertoire; did you have the thought first or did a partner bring it up?

    D.L. Wood

  2. So so so many fabulous questions/thoughts in your comment! I tried to formulate a comment-sized answer and discovered quickly that several of these concepts are better explored in upcoming posts (several of which happened to be already in their infancy - clearly great minds think alike!) In the meantime, lest I leave your curiosity completely unsatisfied, let me say that I have indeed explored BDSM and powerplay extensively in my real life. Nothing against posing a fantasy - the photographic equivalent to dressing up for Halloween methinks - but I prefer to express real experiences, real passions, and real connections of creative people. While I am always open for interesting suggestions from partners both photographic and personal, I doubt you'll be surprised to hear that I'm most often the one who says : "Do you trust me? I want to try something wicked!" ~Miz B


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