Tuesday, March 19, 2013

One Night Stands & Other Recipes to Liven Up Your Sex Life

Ladies of the world - what say you in the case of  lazy  lovers who neglect tantalizing teasing and flirtatious foreplay?!    Yes, we all know there is a perfect time for fast and furious ... but let's face it - most women miss those first heady times when their lover pulled out all the stops and invested the time to make her beg him to just GIVE IT TO ME ALREADY!!!!

Passion Fruit - 031913 - Miz B

Day to day, we all get caught up in our "to-do" lists ... and unfortunately, sex can end up being just another thing to hurry up and check off the list.   It can take a very conscious effort to slow down and remember how much fun it can be NOT having sex {.... yet}!   Remember those heady early days when you actually had to bring your A-Game and you only got the good stuff if you earned it and made her so crazy she couldn't stand it anymore and HAD to have you?   Here's a few ideas for a return to that level of passion:

* Kiss her everywhere except what is covered by her bra and panties  ... you can make a 2-way game of chicken out of this one and see who breaks first!

* Stay fully clothed while she gets naked ... strive for her pleasure exclusively.  Fondle and kiss and lick and grind ... but no matter how many times she orgasms, don't let her take off your clothes!   The first time a lover did this to me, I was out of my mind with lust and completely furious that he wouldn't give in ... but he definitely got the chance to show me what other tricks he had up his sleeve in the future - and I felt intensely challenged to give as good as I'd gotten!

* Food can be very sensual ... eat strawberries or sushi or chocolate sauce off her gorgeous body ... it doesn't matter what it is, provided you do it very slowly and seductively.  Give her some time to imagine you are eating her like that ... savoring every drop, lingering on every texture,  delighting in every nibble.  Let her see you roll your eyes in enjoyment, let her hear your moan at the flavors zinging on your tongue, let her feel your lips scooping every last morsel off her skin.  Bon appetit! 

In the interest of fairness, this whole thing can go both ways ... ladies get lazy too!   For some reason, especially in long-term relationships, women get caught up in the idea that sex should be hearts and flowers and deeply spiritual.  Frankly, it's exhausting trying to "make love" all the time.   Try a lil recreational sex within your relationship ... have a quickie or a one-night stand with your man ... no eye gazing, no tender words, none of the "usual."  When was the  last time you made him 5 minutes late for work because his shower was interrupted by a world champion level "I'm going to make your legs not work for the next hour" blowjob?  How long has it been since you ignored the bed and reminded him that the walls in the hall won't fall over if you climb them while he races you to completion on his way in the door?  

*It can sometimes be purely one way. Sometimes I am not in the mood for my own orgasm, but I want her to enjoy one or many. I want her to just be a pure receiver of pleasure with no expectation of reciprocity (at that time). I want her to know I relish her having pleasure, orgasms and will use all my talents to bring her there. It is kind of like getting a massage, it is very one way. This should also be reciprocated at another time. The point is, let your lover know that sometimes it is all about them. 

Reciprocity is a beautiful thing ... routine is the kiss of death ... and chances are that both you and your partner have more talents than you remember!   

Headgames 1 - 031913 - Miz B

Erotic photography can be a great source of inspiration.   When done well, a shoot is hours of smoking foreplay for models!  Imagine that chiseled hunk or curvy goddess ... gazing into your eyes, sliding against you, teasing you with their fingers and mouth ... and everytime you think they are going to ACTUALLY kiss you, or suck your nipple, or stroke your center ... some sadist with a camera yells, "Great ... let's change out to the red lingerie, reset, & do it again!"  Nooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!   Whimper!   Every photographer and model knows that the best shots are the moment riiiiiiiight before contact ... once your lips or hips are all smashed together, the image loses it's magic and potentiality.   We can all take a lesson from this process ... hovering on the edge of the shadows, even if just for a moment, can give your partner the time to hold their breath in anticipation and longing for whatever comes next.   Next time ... try incorporating this pause for dramatic effect into your technique - seconds or hours or days ... allow the tension to build, fan the embers, and reap the rewards!

1 comment:

  1. Hmm this topic brings back memories of 1 or 2 nights I can recall a couple years go lol. Nice to see there was a larger meaning behind it.


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