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Krysta Kaos - 050213 - Side B |
Blog friend D.L. wrote so many good questions. Below are a few for Miz B and me to answer.
What do you judge people by when first meeting them?
How they were introduced to me. Their handshake. The amount of eye contact. There are no hard rules to how I will judge them, but by observing these three things, I usually get a gut feeling for them.
I tend to take note of details in their demeanor, then assume that none of these are to be believed! I form impressions based on body language, clever turns of phrase (or lack thereof!), sparkles in the eye, and their overall posture. I'm often quite right in my perceptions, but have learned over the years that people take months - if not years - to show you the totality of what lies within. The less I presume to know, the better able I am to adapt to new information their behavior imparts.
If you could become invisible at will – what would you do with that power?
While the temptation to spy on others is always there, I would prefer to go for the subtle. In my benevolent days, I would truly anonymously find ways to help those needing it. It may be just slipping some food to a homeless person or softly whispering into a lonely person's ear, "You are loved."
For much of this though, I think I would just enjoy truly disappearing and relaxing. With no one noticing me at all, I could relax and fully watch the day go by and feel inanimate, for once.
As a joker, I would drive around and scare the hell out of people as they witness a "driverless" car go by.
While I do enjoy the thought of having a voyeur's paradise with this one, I must admit that I find the thought of invisibility less than appealing! Practical most definitely, but I enjoy being noticed and being able to influence events in full view. I suspect I would use this gift rarely to confirm suspicions and get an edge in business dealings ... but it sounds like less fun than intuiting!
What surprised you about having sex?
The complexity and the primal nature of it. I first noticed the primal parts of it, instinct, base desires, raw sex smells, tastes, sweat, noises, and raw movements. Afterward, I noticed how complex it was due to all of these things I listed being blended into a mix of emotions, needs, intimacy, and connection. All of them made sex so much more than fantasy, masturbation, or what is witnessed through porn.
How varied it is. Sex can be a billion different experiences ... day to day, person to person, mood to mood. One would think that eventually the novelty would wear off, but perhaps that's only true if one fails to explore and vary and expand their experiences. At one time I actually believed that sex was like any other skill ... something one could master with practice. Now it seems to me that every mastery brings another level of exploration into view.
What non-sexual thing is sexual to you?
Cigarette smoke. I do not advocate smoking, but there is something very sexual about it. It isn't the obvious oral connections that do it for me. The sexual part of it is the flow and sharing of air. When I am with a smoker I am attracted to I see and hear her inhale through the cigarette, the red cherry growing bright orange with heat from the oxygen passing through it and pulling the smoke deep into her lungs, into her, and becoming part of her. I then hear her exhale and see the smoke flow out of her after becoming part of her. I then breath in, knowing that the smoky air I am pulling into me had just been in her and taken her and is now sharing the similar path in my own body.
Wait ... there are nonsexual things?! I'm often teased that any topic is half a degree of separation from sex for me. I believe in theory that sometimes a tunnel is just a tunnel and a train is just a train ... but heaven help me, if one meets the other, it's sexy! In my defense, I perceive sexuality to be more than just the raw physical act of intercourse, so naturally I see sexual elements everywhere. If it's a physical, tactile thing - it's got a sexual element. If it's a spirtual or emotional interaction - it's got a sexual element.
When there is chemistry and sexual attraction, every action seems infused with seduction. When attraction is fresh, every mundane motion is sensual ... the way she brushes her hair from her eyes, the way he pours his coffee. I think a key to being a sexual force of nature is to stay tuned into the sensuality of these "non-sexual" things!
Is giving oral sex a pleasure or a chore?
Depends. I love both sides of it, but it isn't always magic. Is she enjoying giving it? Is she enjoying and wanting more of it as I give it? Depending on those answers, it can be a chore, or a pleasure, or a pleasurable chore.
Oral is like any other kind of sex ... it can fall anywhere on the spectrum from "ewwww must I? " to "oh mercy let's do that again!" As you all know by now, I'm rabidly opposed to doing anything just because I'm supposed to ... I try to live by doing what I passionately wish to. I think any sexual act can vary vastly from partner to partner, circumstance to circumstance. Truly great lovers don't follow a script ... they follow the moment.