Monday, June 17, 2013

You slut. I honor you.

Moon Marie - 061713 - SideB

"Jane, you ignorant slut", was the first time I heard that term for a woman.  It was on Saturday Night Live during a debate segment called Point/Counterpoint  with Jane Curtain and Dan Aykroyd.  She would make her argument and then he would start his argument off with that line.  I had to ask my parents what slut meant and, like bitch, they said it was a derogatory term for a woman with no more details than that.




Slut or slattern is a term applied to an individual who is considered to have loose sexual morals or who is sexually promiscuous. The term is generally pejorative and most often applied to women as an insult, sexual slur or offensive term of disparagement, meaning "dirty or slovenly". However, in recent times there have been attempts to "reclaim" the word, while some individuals embrace the title as a source of pride. Wikipedia
One of my last posts before my break* I wrote about my evolving definition of the word bitch.  Like bitch, my definition of slut is also evolving.  I've used it as a pejorative a time or two in my life toward women.  Once in college, I heard overheard a woman in the cafeteria refer to guy as a boy slut.  I kind of wanted to be one of those.
What is the difference between a slut and bitch?   A slut will sleep with anybody.  A bitch will sleep with anybody except you. - source unknown.
Over the years since, many words have lost their power for me, especially insults.  I've either been the one that personifies the insults or have close friends that have as well.  I realized that being an asshole, slut, bitch, dick, cunt, etc., is part of the human condition and I've been all of those a time or two.  My goal though is not to be them all the time and to learn from the times I was one.

The term slut is similar to bitch for me. In my evolving view, both are terms that are going from being derogatory to positives. As I mentioned in my bitch post, "I now view the word bitch as an honorific. As Tina (Fey) says, 'Bitches get stuff done!' I respect the bitches I know. They have power, they have agency, and they deserve respect. "  I also respect the sluts I know.

In my definition I acknowledge that sluts have sex.  I also define a slut as someone who enjoys, craves, initiates, owns, explores, and celebrates their sexuality.  Yes, sluts have sex, maybe even lots of it.  Why is that bad?  If she were a man, he would be a stud and would be admired with a wink.  

In ways, I prefer the term slut to stud.  Stud usually refers to horses and breeding.  While the stud horse may get a lot of sex from multiple females, it is to procreate.  For most human studs, procreation is not the purpose.  Human studs are sluts due to the lack of breeding as the purpose.

In the past few years, the term slut shaming has entered our lexicon.
Slut shaming (also hyphenated, as slut-shaming) is defined as the act of making a woman feel guilty or inferior for engaging in certain sexual behaviors that deviate from traditional or orthodox gender expectations, dressing in sexually provocative ways, for requiring access to birth control, or even for being raped or sexually assaulted. - Wikipedia 
This makes me sick.  We hyper-sexualize and objectify women in our culture and then slut shame them?  What a double standard!   On top of that, the argument that wardrobe, behaviors and wanting birth control makes a woman a slut and that makes her being harassed, raped, assaulted, and even executed in some cultures is so unfounded and false that the debate over it is not worth the time it takes to write about it here.

To all the sluts out there (without even inferring gender), be proud of it.  Own your sexuality.  Own the word.  By owning it, it takes the power out of your opponents arguments.  Don't  let the slut shame assholes get you down.  As George Herbert said, "Living well is the best revenge."  For a slut, that living well includes enjoying all the great sex that the naysayers are missing or hiding in their sad closets.


*NOTE:  Thank you to Miz B for taking care of our blog and making it sizzle while I was away.  She is an amazing gem. 

2 comments:

  1. Double standards are present all over out society and I think we focus on breaking down the wrong ones. We think little boys should be able to play with dolls and women can enter combat but show this double standard is allowed to persist - why?
    People are upright. Some sexually adventurous. Other enjoy one night stands. Some are polyamourous

    Whether you are male or female is irrelevant. The trait is all that matters and should be embraced whether we are either gender

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  2. I recently enjoyed a spirited discussion on this topic. A friend posed the question: "Where is the line drawn between a sexually confident woman and a slut?" In reply, I posited that the line depends on the confidence level of the line-drawer. I also think it's a question of intent ... if she's getting what she wants and happy with the results, she's confident ... if she's getting used and whining about how that's not what she wanted, she's a slut. If she gives it up to everyone who wants her, she's ya-know ... if she takes it from everyone *she* wants, she's the shit! Final thought: With most men, it seems that if she says yes to you, she's confident ... if you didn't make the cut, she's suddenly a ho. With most women, if she can have what you can't, she's a ho.

    Overall, I think slut is like all other labels ... there's no purpose to it aside from trying to belittle another person out of jealousy or judgement. You can label me a bitch or a slut ... doesn't change the fact that I am me, and I'm going to do what I want to do. My all-time bedpost notch count is lower than Wilt Chamberlain and the quality is top-shelf ... most importantly I have no regrets ... so let's label me as happy and leave it at that! :-)

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