Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Deflowering, broken pitchers and Lolita

“I think he seriously believes that deflowering an angel could mean an eternity in fiery hell.” - Cynthia Hand
Jolene 121113 SideB

I wonder why one of the terms for a woman's loss of virginity is "deflowered".  Is it the picking of the bud that can't be replaced?  With that minor puzzlement brought up, I also wonder about the whole "Lolita" fetish, especially as represented in art, erotica, and pornography.

In recent years, this fetish raised her head in movies and music.  In 1999, Kevin Spacey's character had an unhealthy attraction for his daughter's friend in the movie American Beauty.  This year, the world was shocked by the young, sexual Miley Cyrus (aka grown-up Hannah Montana) twerking with a much older Robin Thicke.  While the world debated the whole spectacle, I am sure many men quietly fantasized over this young temptress.

Along this theme, I believe much of the popularity of the Game of Thrones series are all the arranged marriages between older men and young maidens.  After reading all five books, I wonder if George R. R. Martin could express any more ways of the importance of the young maidens intact "maidenhood" and his tellings of the loss of them.

The Broken Pitcher - William-Adolphe Bouguereau

While it is easy to find modern instances of this fascination and fantasy of the seduction and taking of a young lady's innocence, it has been represented many times in other forms of art.  William-Adolphe Bouguereau and Jean-Baptiste Greuze both created separate paintings titled The Broken Pitcher of young ladies with lost innocence represented as a broken pitcher and a look of youth, lust, and loss.  Was this early Lolita porn?  It is sad how many meanings a broken pitcher holds as a metaphor.  The harshest is that a broken pitcher is now useless and to be discarded.

The Broken Pitcher - Jean-Baptiste Greuze

In today's vernacular of this theme, you can search for Lolita Porn, Barely Legal, and other terms to find mountains of this type of visual stimuli.  With that search though comes the fine-edged sword of what are you truly looking for and when does it stray into child pornography.

My personal beliefs on this differ from what I will judge in others.  For most things, I don't judge others' sexual choices as long as it is between two consenting, informed adults.  I may not personally seek it or have tried it and decided against doing it again, but I try not to judge others.   The Lolita/barely legal fetish though is one that I don't hold and question some of those who do.

Hey little girl is your daddy home
Did he go away and leave you all alone
I got a bad desire
I'm on fire"  I'm on Fire ~ Bruce Springsteen
If you and/or your partner like to dress up in high school cheerleader outfits or in the Catholic school girl skirts and maybe even role play a little, that is one thing.  If though the role playing gets more extreme into age play and power/age dominance, then that is another.  Of course if an adult crosses the hard line of violating a minor (even if the the adult believes the minor was wanting it as well) it is wrong.

Twenty years ago, I had a friend I'll call Ray that was a fireman in his mid-forties.  He started dating a 21 year old coed (who I'll call Brenda) and they lived together for a year.  After their amicable split, I asked him why they broke up.  He said that while Brenda's intellect, beauty and spirit were wonderful, her age-appropriate maturity drove him nuts.  As typical for many people her age, she had to live through bouncing her first check, having her first overdue credit card payment, having to find and pay for auto insurance, having to get utilities hooked up, and many other firsts common at that age.  While he loved Brenda, he didn't want to have to live through all that again.  Now that I am the same age as Ray, I understand that.

For me, I prefer women to girls.  It is cliche to bring up the value of a woman's experience as being sexy, but it is true.  I also love the physical beauty of a woman.  In that beauty, age is a part of it and how it influences the physical appearance works for me.  Combine the age, experience, physical beauty, intellect and and other key factors, a complex woman is far hotter, sexier, intriguing, beguiling, and perfect for me.


1 comment:

  1. I personally never found much attraction in a young maiden in her early 20s that extended beyond eye candy. After a 5 minute conversation, I tend to move on if she fails to maintain my interest (as they often do). I never had the pleasure of deflowering one either. Seems a tad too much emotional baggage to tote after sex. I prefer my fruit to be god and ripe before taking a bite... though exceptions have been made.

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