Monday, April 28, 2014

Penetrating Perspective

As a female artist, I tend to shy away from graphic depictions of sex - far preferring the soft focus, implied, facial expression focused versions of lovemaking.   In general I find it crude to isolate body parts, as I truly believe that great sex happens between the ears, in the warmth of a kiss, in a tender look.

Every rule requires an exception though ... and today's topic absolutely deserves the image with which it's paired!  Today we are examining the complexities of penetration from a female perspective.   I suspect that the physical realities of penetrative sex are largely intertwined with the differing emotional responses of men and women.   

There is something incredibly vulnerable about penetration for a woman.   Quite literally she is taking another person inside of her body ... the most intimate connection possible.  Like her emotional interactions, this connection can be gentle or violent, deep or superficial, lingering or fleeting, euphoric or devastating.   But in all cases, she is laid open, possessed, and joined in a way that men will never know.  To be fair, I find that gay & bi men who receive understand exactly what I'm talking about ... they are impacted in very similar ways by penetration.  Please forgive my gender specific text - it's for simplicity's sake, not because I'm unaware of the ways others share our experience.

Man can never know the loneliness a woman knows. Man lies in the woman's womb only to gather strength, he nourishes himself from this fusion, and then he rises and goes into the world, into his work, into battle, into art. He is not lonely. He is busy. The memory of the swim in amniotic fluid gives him energy, completion. Woman may be busy too, but she feels empty. Sensuality for her is not only a wave of pleasure in which she is bathed, and a charge of electric joy at contact with another. When man lies in her womb, she is fulfilled, each act of love a taking of man within her, an act of birth and rebirth, of child rearing and man bearing. Man lies in her womb and is reborn each time anew with a desire to act, to be. But for woman, the climax is not in the birth, but in the moment man rests inside of her.  ~ Anaïs Nin

Surrender - 042814 - Miz B

I believe a great portion of love lies in being willing to let down your guard and let another person in - to your mind, your heart, your life.   There is no greater manifestation of this than laying yourself naked before someone and yielding your most fragile depths to them ... trusting them to fill a space inside you and to bring you pleasure instead of pain.   When a man becomes, for even a moment, physically a part of you -  it's no wonder that there is an emotional shift that happens.   A man can still feel intact and separate, even when he's buried inside someone.  But I'm not certain it is possible to have someone physically fill you without feeling that somehow you have become a single body, even if just for a moment.  

Don't get me wrong ... like many other instincts, a woman is perfectly capable of thinking her way out of this feeling.   She can be just as careless and aloof as a man ... as casual about her liaisons as anyone.   Her experience of the act of penetration simply makes it more difficult to consider sex a carefree, meaningless physical joyride.   And when she embraces this idea that her partner has become a part of her, her judgement of often clouded by it.   As is often the case in life, our differing experiences of the same event lead to a great deal of misunderstanding and pain.  I think it's valuable for women to understand that men do not share their experience, just as it's critical for men to tread carefully because they understand - at least in theory - the experience of the women they penetrate - physically and emotionally.

Friday, April 18, 2014

Bi is Beautiful!

I think choosing between men and women is like choosing between cake and ice cream. You'd be daft not to try both when there are so many different flavors.

I've never understood the idea of having to choose just one thing to love.   I was the kid who looked at the ice cream purists in the chocolate vs vanilla battle like they were missing the point of living & ordered a swirled cone - sometimes dipped in chocolate shell just because!   Who says you have to love only one kind of movie?  I still say that romances and slasher flicks can be interchangeable with the right person and some popcorn!   Maybe I'm just greedy, but I can't imagine depriving myself of any of the yumminess the world has to offer just to fit in a neat little labeled box.

Boytoy - 041814 - Miz B

Sexuality is, of course, no exception.   I'm not even sure that bi-sexual covers it.   I've savored butch women and effeminate men, played with most points on the gender-identity spectrum, and experienced lovers I am at a loss to label for all my fancy education.   Especially in the most adventurous among us, sexuality is fluid.   I may not be able to think of anything more boring than Suzie and I alone in a room together, but throw Tyrone into the mix and suddenly Suzie is my favorite partner in the world - perhaps not for her physical attractiveness to me, but for the sensual possibilities she brings to our bed.   It's not the genitals or self-identified preference of an individual that lights my fire:  it's the energy and chemistry they bring to our interactions.   

Lady Love - 041814 - Miz B

Once you begin to open yourself to the vast diversity of people in this world, arbitrary classifications matter less and less.   I don't care if she is lesbian, straight, trans, or not sure ... I only care if her touch quickens my breath and intrigues my mind.  I don't care if he is bi, dominant, cross-dressing, or confused ... I only care if he is honest and passionate with me, genuine in our pleasures.    Arousal & attraction live between our ears, not our thighs ... the rest of the package is merely an instrument of expression.

Identity - 041814 - Miz B

Saturday, April 5, 2014

Your boat

Your boat awaits us
obscured by the dock and clutter
your boat awaits us

We don't quickly launch
we prepare for the voyage
with care and love

We slide the long oars
slowly into their locks and
and ready for the first stroke

We grow excited
to leave the dock and enjoy
the beauty from your boat

With a sweet soft kiss
you lean back and fully open -
your boat is ready