Monday, April 28, 2014

Penetrating Perspective

As a female artist, I tend to shy away from graphic depictions of sex - far preferring the soft focus, implied, facial expression focused versions of lovemaking.   In general I find it crude to isolate body parts, as I truly believe that great sex happens between the ears, in the warmth of a kiss, in a tender look.

Every rule requires an exception though ... and today's topic absolutely deserves the image with which it's paired!  Today we are examining the complexities of penetration from a female perspective.   I suspect that the physical realities of penetrative sex are largely intertwined with the differing emotional responses of men and women.   

There is something incredibly vulnerable about penetration for a woman.   Quite literally she is taking another person inside of her body ... the most intimate connection possible.  Like her emotional interactions, this connection can be gentle or violent, deep or superficial, lingering or fleeting, euphoric or devastating.   But in all cases, she is laid open, possessed, and joined in a way that men will never know.  To be fair, I find that gay & bi men who receive understand exactly what I'm talking about ... they are impacted in very similar ways by penetration.  Please forgive my gender specific text - it's for simplicity's sake, not because I'm unaware of the ways others share our experience.

Man can never know the loneliness a woman knows. Man lies in the woman's womb only to gather strength, he nourishes himself from this fusion, and then he rises and goes into the world, into his work, into battle, into art. He is not lonely. He is busy. The memory of the swim in amniotic fluid gives him energy, completion. Woman may be busy too, but she feels empty. Sensuality for her is not only a wave of pleasure in which she is bathed, and a charge of electric joy at contact with another. When man lies in her womb, she is fulfilled, each act of love a taking of man within her, an act of birth and rebirth, of child rearing and man bearing. Man lies in her womb and is reborn each time anew with a desire to act, to be. But for woman, the climax is not in the birth, but in the moment man rests inside of her.  ~ Anaïs Nin

Surrender - 042814 - Miz B

I believe a great portion of love lies in being willing to let down your guard and let another person in - to your mind, your heart, your life.   There is no greater manifestation of this than laying yourself naked before someone and yielding your most fragile depths to them ... trusting them to fill a space inside you and to bring you pleasure instead of pain.   When a man becomes, for even a moment, physically a part of you -  it's no wonder that there is an emotional shift that happens.   A man can still feel intact and separate, even when he's buried inside someone.  But I'm not certain it is possible to have someone physically fill you without feeling that somehow you have become a single body, even if just for a moment.  

Don't get me wrong ... like many other instincts, a woman is perfectly capable of thinking her way out of this feeling.   She can be just as careless and aloof as a man ... as casual about her liaisons as anyone.   Her experience of the act of penetration simply makes it more difficult to consider sex a carefree, meaningless physical joyride.   And when she embraces this idea that her partner has become a part of her, her judgement of often clouded by it.   As is often the case in life, our differing experiences of the same event lead to a great deal of misunderstanding and pain.  I think it's valuable for women to understand that men do not share their experience, just as it's critical for men to tread carefully because they understand - at least in theory - the experience of the women they penetrate - physically and emotionally.


  1. the female perspective, even when overtly sexual, is always more erotic than pornographic. it speaks to emotions and feeling - not an act.
    at its root sex is about connection, not action

    tho the latter does make the former far more enjoyable! great piece miz b

  2. I agree, Dave! It's all about connection ... though the actions are sometimes fabulous manifestations thereof! :-D

  3. Bob Dylan use to sing "tight connection to my heart". Nice article B.


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