Monday, May 26, 2014

Memoirs of a Jaded Romantic : Proceed With Caution

No one ever left ... Ever. She kept men until their bodies and minds broke beneath the strain of loving her. She kept them until she tired of them, and when she sent them away it was the leaving that drove men mad. I was powerless. I was a novelty. I was a toy, favorite because it was newest. It might be a long while before she tired of me, but the time would come. And when she finally set me free my mind would tear itself apart with wanting her. ~P. Rothfuss

Over the years I've learned that more experienced, mature women should come with warning labels.   Yes, we know what we want.  Yes, we have skills.  Yes, we can teach you a lot.   But frankly, we are going to mess you up.   Badly.

Don't get me wrong ... most of us have the best of intentions.  We enjoy sculpting young men into stellar lovers.   We are patient and intense, passionate and interesting, adventurous and generous.   We want to give you the best experiences possible.   And we will.   Sadly, therein lies the rub ...

Venus - 052614 - Image courtesy of S. Sneddon

Never again will you be content to settle for those little girls who don't know who they are, what they want, or how to do - well, anything!  You will have no patience for immature games and petty fights.  You will be more annoyed than you can possibly imagine at how little independence they display.  Their insecurities will be like fingernails on a chalkboard and their laziness in bed will make waterboarding sound attractive.

Simply put, gentlemen, there is no going back.   You will be spoiled by a woman accustomed to the finer things in life, who knows how to savor you as one of them, and knows damn well that she is.  It won't all be about what we do, but how we do it.   And once you have soared to the heights with us, nothing less will do.   How could anyone without our experience and self-awareness possibly be expected to measure up?  

Venus II - 052614 - Image courtesy of S. Sneddon 

I'm not saying it won't be worth it, but please understand that you will be haunted by us.   Don't say that we haven't warned you ... welcome to our world of graduate-level sensual delights, but proceed with caution, dear man - this is not a journey for the weak- minded and faint of heart!  

Would you like me to seduce you?  Is that what you're trying to tell me?
~ Mrs. Robinson
(The Graduate) 


  1. Wow! You are hauntingly beautiful and incredibly sexy. I may be a dirty old man, but I'd risk everything for some time with a goddess like you.


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